“You’re not listening to me”. Chances are if you have heard this, you’re probably not listening. Seems like such an easy thing to do, right. Just listen. And sometimes it’s not very difficult. However, put conflict in the middle of two people, and listening falls on the priority list. Getting your point across is of utmost importance.

There are a number of “techniques” that people use to show listening. When the conflict climbs though, one of the toughest parts of listening, inevitably, is empathizing. Putting yourself in someone elses shoes. No one wants to waste energy trying to understand the other’s point of view, right. I’ve got to get my point across first. Problem is, if no one’s listening, the conflict goes on and on until everyone walks away frustrated and unresolved.

So if you want to work your way through conflict in a way that has a chance of feeling better on the back end, be the one to start with empathizing. Just because you show empathy doesn’t mean you agree. It means you can understand the other’s perspective. You might be surprised, people who are listened to are more likely to reciprocate.