The furrowed brow, the awkward laugh, or even the “huh?”. All really good signs that the person on the other side of the conversation is a bit lost with your words. If you get enough of these and other nonverbal clues over time, you can easily wonder “do people really understand me?” “I don’t think I make any sense”. It’s so frustrating. But man, you are so not alone.

It usually starts young. There are so many kids, who turn into adults, who learn that there is a struggle with them putting into words how they feel and think. It can feel like you are always trying to describe what the color purple looks like without using the word purple. How quickly that becomes isolating. Who wants to continually risk feeling misunderstood? Think I’ll just stay over here and keep to myself. Maybe put on a costume of “common” conversations and actions, but never really attempt to step on the flimsy limb of vulnerability.

I don’t blame anyone for avoiding exposing themselves emotionally because they struggle to verbalize their inner workings. I think that’s why so many people turn to the online communities. There seems to be safety in this. I get it. No awkward nonverbals staring back at you and there is anonymity as well.

Here’s what I’d say. Online, txting, email, snapchat… and face to face are two different things. Maybe consider the first to be practice. “practice, we’re talking about practice” (sorry, sports reference). The face to face is the game. Most people have the potential to understand you more than you realize. Seriously. But, if you always practice, you never get the benefit of what the game feels like. So, go get in the game (had to do it).